


All I Want (For Christmas)

by sapphiczule



Category: La casa de papel | Money Heist (TV)
Genre: F/F, everything is possible when it’s Christmas, ex lovers find their way back to each other, this is fluffly af
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28316664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphiczule/pseuds/sapphiczule
Summary: “It’s Christmas” they thought to themselves, and somehow, that became the answer to justify almost everything that would come to their mind.I shouldn’t drink on the job, but it’s Christmas.I shouldn’t be tipsy, but it’s Christmas.I shouldn’t confide my personal life with my ex…But it’s Christmas.
Relationships: Raquel Murillo/Alicia Sierra
Kudos: 23





	All I Want (For Christmas)

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, it’s true: yours truly finally wrote a Ralicia fic. And my first story of this iconic ship is also dedicated to an iconic person. Michelle (@raliciaschild), this one is for you! I hope you enjoy this Christmas gift. Love you, cariño <3
> 
> (In this timeline, Alicia is not pregnant and Raquel didn’t suffer domestic violence.)

December 24th, 7PM.

At this exact moment, most people are already enjoying their well-earned holiday break, at home with their families and the people they love, doing whatever Christmas activity they feel like it. But if you work for the Police, you’re not most people. And if you’re an inspector for the Spanish Police in Madrid, you’re definitely not most people.

Raquel was used to working during the holidays, you must be once you sign up for this job. She would plan her Christmas with Paula and her mother accordingly, and she would always be at home in time for dinner. However, this year was not like all the other ones. How, you ask? For starters, it’s 7PM and she hasn’t even gotten through halfway on the paperwork from the new case she was assigned, which was ranked a “top priority” which in police terms mean “we want this done as soon as possible but not really because I don’t care if it’s not possible, make it work.” It’s not like she hasn’t gotten new cases near Christmas, but this one was giving her a run for her money and the entire Police Force as well, who was being pressured by the governor to rush this case.

So pressured, that they thought it was best to have two inspectors working on it. And of course, it couldn’t be anyone. They wanted the best of the best, people who were on top of their class graduating with honors. And besides Raquel, there was only one other name in Madrid.

Alicia Sierra.

It’s been decades since she’d last seen the raven-haired woman. She would hear gossip about her running around the former members of the Academy, but other than that they had no other contact. Raquel really thought she could keep it that way. She couldn’t. Fate definitely works some twisted jokes most of the time but spending Christmas Eve in the office working extra hours with no one other than a past ghost, _the_ past ghost of her life, was beyond twisted.

And that’s exactly where she is now. December 24th, 7pm, alone in the office with Alicia sitting right in front of her. Raquel lifts her eyes from the document she’s been holding for the past 20 minutes, still on the same page, to look at the woman in front of her from what must be the 9th time in the spam of only 2 minutes. But this time, a voice interrupts her train of thought.

“Raquel, if you keep looking at me like that, you’re going to burn a hole into my forehead.” The redhead says, eyes not leaving the computer for even the slightest second.

Raquel shifts awkwardly in her seat, avoiding eye contact with the figure in front of her, clearly uncomfortable about all of this. The way Alicia always managed to never show any emotion and have the upper hand in whatever situation was always something she had difficulties sitting on, specially once she was the one in the receiving end of her poker face.

“Just ask me whatever it is that you want to ask already.” Alicia says, finally averting her gaze from the PC to look at Raquel.

What is it, exactly, that Raquel wants to ask? A lot of options cross her mind. Questions like: it’s been 20 years since we last saw each other and we’ve been working for a week together, a lot more of them to come – how come you can act like you don’t even know me? How is it that, once you crossed that door to the office building, the only significant thing you managed to say to me was “Quanto tiempo. Raquel”? How is it that, 20 years ago, you walked out of the door to our apartment breaking my heart in the process and act like it never happened? Did you even care about what we had at all?

None of which she wanted to say now. But has been wanting to say it for two decades.

“Raquel.”

Raquel snaps out of her thoughts, making eye contact with Alicia. She has a hurricane of thoughts going through her head right now filled with all the unspoken words accumulated after all this time.

“How come you didn’t call German?” Is what Raquel deciding on going with at the end, which momentarily bubbles up a reaction from Alicia.

“ _Qué?_ ”

“It’s Christmas eve. And you’re here, working. The only breaks we took you left your phone at your desk.” Raquel looks at the phone, still sitting in the same place for what must’ve been hours already, untouched. Alicia follows her eye, taking in Raquel’s words. “Aren’t you going to call him?”

For a moment, silence fills the room. Alicia holds Raquel’s gaze in an all too familiar way, and Raquel wonders what could be going on inside her mind. The redhead breaks her silence.

“I see that you’re still very keen on details.” Alicia’s voice still rings onto Raquel’s ear in the same tone, although the blonde notices the lack of the usual sarcasm in it. That was unexpected. Raquel shrugs, letting out a deep breath. She wants to answer “Yes, and I still know you too well”. She doesn’t. A couple more seconds of silence flash by, while Alicia considered her next words.

Alicia Sierra is known for many things – being an open book was never one of them. Since the Academy years – hell, even before that probably – Alicia never showed weakness or any kind of vulnerability. She always looked pristine with her high ponytail with no strands of hair out of its place, turtlenecks and dresses fitting her body perfectly paired with the usual high heel. All that people knew about her was what she wanted them to know, and apparently, even all those decades later, things haven’t changed.

But then again, Raquel isn’t most people.

Raquel knew her, whether Alicia liked or not. She got closer to the red-haired woman when no one could, slowly penetrating inside thick steel walls in which she separated herself from the world. Was it to keep people out, or keep herself in? Raquel always wondered. She came to learn that it was both. Raquel knew how to look through the perfect image that Alicia wanted everyone to buy. She could notice when Alicia compensated on the makeup to conceal a bad night of sleep, how she chain-smoked whenever she was feeling anxious about something or how she would take her sadness out on candy, having a chocolate bar ready to go on her purse.

Maybe a few things changed, Raquel ponders. She doesn’t see a chocolate bar in sight, but lollipops were always in arm’s reach for the past couple of days.

“No, I’m not going to call him.” Alicia finally answers. She’s insecure, both of them know by the slight tremble on her voice giving it away. Raquel is sure this is where the conversation will stop. They’re strangers to each other now, and Alicia doesn’t open up to strangers.

“We’re not together anymore.”

_Oh._

Alicia doesn’t know what’s gotten into her. She was not expecting to open up about this, but apparently it was way too big of a task for her subconscious to get behind on. Because deep down she wanted Raquel to know.

“ _Lo siento_.”

“No need for that. I left him, not the other way around.”

Raquel simply nods, not quite knowing how to answer that. In the past 2 week they’ve been paired up, this is the longest conversation they managed to have that wasn’t work related. This is also the first time they’ve spent some more time alone. Alicia reaches for her bag, taking out a lollipop and unwrapping it, bringing it to her mouth. Raquel shakes her head.

“I think you need something stronger.”

This finally makes Alicia let out a chuckle. The air between them seems to get lighter, both seemingly relaxing more around each other’s presence and moving past the awkward reunion.

“I definitely need something stronger. But it’s not like we can leave and stop at a random bar.”

 _We._ The pronoun lingers in the air like a puff of smoke, flashbacks of their past drifting around their head to a time where there was once, _them_. Together. Nightouts, movie nights, study sessions that would always end with them making out. Right now, it seems like another life completely.

“Who says we have to leave?” Raquel says, and Alicia cocks her eyebrow in surprise at that.

“Raquel Murillo, do you keep an alcohol stash in the office? You changed.” The redhead says, feigning shock. The blonde rolls her eyes at Alicia’s theatricals.

“No. But I know where people who have store theirs.” She smirks.

“Mhm, Like I said.”

“Said what?”

“That you’re still very observant.”

They share a moment of silence together. Raquel doesn’t know if it’s the hard workload weighing them down to exhaustion or if it’s the loneliness of spending Christmas eve alone working, but for a moment she anger wasn’t the operative feeling inside her regarding her past lover. She was feeling a lot of things, mind you. But anger wasn’t the strongest at least on this night. She didn’t have the energy to it.

But it’s probably just the loneliness talking, is what Raquel tells herself as she gets up to retrieve two glasses and a bottle of tequila.

* * *

As the clock strikes 11:30PM, Raquel and Alicia knock down one last shot before calling it on the booze. They worked together discussing details on the case and taking a shot whenever they’d almost start a fight for disagreeing with something, which was… a lot of shots, to say the least.

Raquel and Alicia are definitely not the people to drink on the clock, but to be completely fair they weren’t even supposed to be working that night. “It’s Christmas” they thought to themselves, and somehow, that became the answer to justify almost everything that would come to their mind.

I shouldn’t drink on the job, but it’s Christmas.

I shouldn’t be tipsy, but it’s Christmas.

I shouldn’t confide my personal life with my ex…

But it’s Christmas.

Raquel tells Alicia how she got married and had a kid, to which Alicia already knew. She tells the redhead she got a divorce last year – news to the other woman – and that she’s fighting for custody of Paula still. She tells her about the many times Alberto cheated on her, and how she felt like slowly disappearing while she was with him. Alicia gently rests her hand on top of Raquel’s, stroking her thumb against the skin there in a reassuring way. Raquel couldn’t help but notice how her touch still warms her body the same way it did in the past.

Alicia talks about how she got promoted to Inspector as well and her journey getting there. She talks about meeting German, and how she felt that he was the one. She tells Raquel about Comisario, and how he’s her best friend. She then proceeds to tell that German asked her to marry him.

And that she said no.

Alicia stops talking after that, and Raquel is left without many answers. She sees a whirlwind of emotions flashing through blue eyes, and she know that she has to ask.

“Alicia... why did you break up with German?”

Alicia takes a deep breath. Raquel wonders if maybe she’s not gonna go there and close herself down once more.

“I asked that myself a lot too. Do you remember our first Christmas together?”

Raquel nods. She would never forget. It was the year her father got into the accident that took him away from her. She and Alicia didn’t have a relationship yet, but they were inseparable. She went home for the holidays with Raquel.

“Do you remember what you said to me? When the clock stroke midnight?”

“I said that all I wanted was to feel my dad’s love present with me again.”

Alicia nods with her head, and averts the gaze to a distant point behind Raquel.

“You see, German was perfect. I met him at work, he has a great career, and he looked like the postcard for the perfect husband. He treated me very well, and I still like him. But...the truth is that I didn’t love him. I knew it all along. He was just convenient enough for the moment.”

Alicia stops talking for a minute, mentally preparing herself for her next words.

“He wasn’t you, Raquel. He never stood a chance.” 

Raquel stays silent for one, two, three seconds too long. Alicia feels like she could explode with anticipation. She didn’t intend on telling Raquel that – she hadn’t even fully admitted this to herself. But now that she finally said it out loud, she knew that it was what was on her mind ever since she saw German drop to one knee in front of her.

He’s not Raquel.

The blonde’s mouth open, and then closes again. She hesitates before even managing to answer something, whatever it is that it might come.

“Alicia, _you_ left _me._ You don’t get to say that.” Her voice was small and quiet, but cold and stern at the same time. Alicia’s heart clenches.

“I know. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t regret this Raquel... I just never got the courage to admit that. I was confused, I was scared... I was terrified of how love made me feel like. I never learned how to love.”

Raquel stares into blue eyes. She can see Alicia in the most vulnerable state she has ever seen. Loving does that to someone. And she knows that there’s no point in pretending that she stopped having feelings for Alicia too.

“You could’ve told me that 20 years earlier.” Raquel doesn’t say that in a judgy tone, but rather a hurt one.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

She truly is. Her heart clenches with the thought of Raquel being heartbroken because she just couldn’t allow herself to open up and be vulnerable. She knew what she had done could never be changed.

They both fall into silence again, staring at each other for a moment. Taking in each other’s features and how much time changed them from the people they knew.

Raquel is the one to break the silence.

“we should go. We won’t get any more work today.” Raquel looks at his wristwatch, sighing. “It’s 00:30 already. Let’s just go home.

Alicia nods. They grab their coats amd purses from their station, the ride downstairs on the elevator so quiet if it wasn’t for their loud thoughts. As soon as they have a view of the outside world, Raquel is the first to notice something unusual.

“Is this...”

“Snow?” Alicia completes. “How? Madrid never snows.”

Raquel smiles peacefully. They walk out to the streets, watching as the cars start to get a fine layer of white on top of them.

“It’s rare... but it happens.”

Just like two lovers finding their way back to each other again.

“You know... all I want was to feel your love’s presence again.” Alicia says. “I finally understood what that meant.”

Raquel turns to look at her.

“I know it’s too late. I just needed to let you know that I—“

Alicia has no time to respond, because soon enough Raquel’s lips are crashing against her own. She links her arms in the the woman’s neck, Raquel’s arms hugging her figure as their lips meet each other and it all just feels so right. Like they were made to kiss each other. Snow keeps falling down around them, and they get lost in time and in each other.

They shouldn’t be kissing but...

Fuck it.

Raquel separates the kiss, looking at Alicia in the eye. She brings a finger to her cheek, caressing the skin there, tracing the wrinkles that marked how time never stops. That marks how long it’s been. All the winkles that translate into everything Alicia has lived so far that made her come back to her.

“Merry Christmas.” She whispers, smiling.

“Merry Christmas.”

They join lips again, and nothing else around them matters. They don’t know how the next day hold for them, they don’t know if they can make them work out again after so long. But today is Christmas and everything is possible.

And that’s all they needed right now.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m @sapphiczule on twitter if you wanna come and say hi!


End file.
